Call to arms!

Hear ye, hear ye!
A call to arms for all Knights of Sufferlandria! Our great nation has been invaded by The Wretched Wahooligans! We must not let them be Getting Away With It! Probably, It Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time to form a union, but their nation proved to be a Violator of our good faith. They want us to renounce our SUF Idol, steal our Cash Register, leaving us to do The Chores. Rookie mistake to fall for The Trick.

Hell Hath No Fury for our great nation, and rather than let them ruin The Best Thing In The World and let it disappear into Thin Air, we must summon our greatest Angels To Get To The Other Side. The best Defender is often an Attacker, thus you must Do As You Are Told and pick up The Shovel to generate a tsunami of lactic acid to flood them out, and smithe them with the Nine Hammers. There Is No Try!

Bring out The Bat, let them become The Hunted. We shall find The Way Out, bringing out our best Team Scream, scaring them into a Downward Spiral ending up in A Very Dark Place.

This epic battle, this Fight Club, will be remembered as the G.O.A.T. But it is not gonna be a Joyride, it will be a Long Scream. Not even Half is Easy, but confronted with the glorious suffering we will display, Who Dares attack again? That will be The Cure, and our Power Station will once again be able to safely distribute well earned Rechargers to the valiant citizens of Sufferlandria. It will be smooth as Butter!


I have no idea what you just said, but you said it in language I can easily understand.

This is the Best Thing in the World!

Hear, here, heir!


Haha… an idea to try making a story based on old Sufferlandrian lore tradition, telling the tale of the SYSTM takeover, using the names of our beloved Sufferfest workouts.

Once I had the idea I just had to try it :crazy_face:

The result would potentially have been better if English was my native tongue :sweat_smile:


This is the way.




@emacdoug @Magnito Everything was in there except the Kitchen Sink :grinning:


:joy: :rofl: :grinning:

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I love the creativity but the Sufferfest is still here. Which video have they removed? In actuality they added one.

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I wish I can, but since SYSTM surplanted the Sufferfest, my trainer can´t connect so I can´t respond the call to arms. You know, no app-trainer connection, well… the app and the trainer are useless.

Have you contacted the minions, yet?

Yes, I visited the Help Center, do all the sugested actions, contacted the minions, got a service ticket number, but stil can not connect.

Brilliant! Every workout into the blender! Love it :slight_smile:


There were a few others missing also I believe, but it was late and I was on a mobile device so I got tired of switching app back and forth… :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Apologies if it was not clear this was a piece of friendly banter intended as a somewhat ironic poke to those being overly negative about the change. After doing the new Tapers video yesterday (which was amazing!) what little doubt I might have had about the SYSTM change has been put to rest :slight_smile:

Well, Blender was one of those missing actually, but as you point out, it was indeed there indirectly :grin:


@Magnito Yeah - I was trying to get in on your fun but maybe you don’t use the expression “Everything but the kitchen sink” so may not have understood my joke:

Merriam Webster Dictionary - Everything but the kitchen sink.

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@Magnito this is absolute gold, I literally burst out laughing at my desk. This was exactly what I needed on my Friday afternoon :slight_smile:


Aaaaahahaha! :bulb:

Wish I’d known the expression beforehand, it was a perfect joke! :joy:

Cheers @pb07! Glad you liked it, I had fun making it too :wink:

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That’s actually not a call to arms but a call to a 3.5 × Knighthood. :rofl: (If I have counted correctly.)


This is what I like to see and what makes this an awesome community. I hope posts like these never go away. The new app is of course great and the workouts are still awesome. Long live Sufferlandria!


I feel Violated.