if it was easy…
Well done, Sir! Welcome to the castle!
As appealing as that looks, this morning the menu was ibuprofen.
Ummm…nothing must dull the suffering 
Claude calculated 56,517 pedal strokes.
I’d like Claude to clean my bike.
I have detailed my return to Sufferlandria at the start of my Quest thread, so I will stick to the Quest itself in my Suffering Summary.
Having prepped my food and bottles the night before, I began the day at my usual 04:45 ish espresso.
At 6:24 I hit play on No Place Like Home, the prologue meant to Honour my return to Sufferlandria much in the same fashion as is chronicled in the video. 33ish minutes into the prologue, panic struck when the video inexplicably stopped and SYSTM disappeared from my screen. It was the one aspect I could not plan or control, I was playing the downloaded video, but the minions were proving that regardless of preparation, you can’t control everything. I restarted SYSTM and hit play on the video, got back to the point I had been at moments ago and continued. I have to admit, I was concerned, but given it was the prologue, I rode on.
Hell Hath No Fury, Angels, Thin Air, and A Very Dark Place were checked off with discipline as planned, just touching Z3 HR during the videos but still allowing myself to sprint out the end of every finish. Transitions went well, with loading the next, bathroom, bottles and back on the bike in 5-6 mins. The 8 minute timer going off during the warm-up of the next ride.
Everything went off the tracks at the beginning of The Wretched. I knew it was one of my favorites, but I completely forgot about the Drummer. I played drums in HS, and have always really loved a good drum beat (Phil Collins and Chester Thompson Drum Duet top my list). I got so into the rhythm and cadence, I was cruising along. Suddenly I realized I was way above my target HR max 10 minutes into Wretched, and had to knock it down from 100% which I had forgotten with the drum enticing my charge.
Nine Hammers was awful, I kept thinking how insane someone must be to do it over and over and 29 more overs… but I again allowed my HR to creep up to uphold the tradition, hitting Z4 a few times.
Team Scream was perfectly placed locking my focus into the TTT and with the advice of successful Knight Quests, there was no thought of anything other than the wheel in front of me.
TBTITW and Omnium continued to keep me focused on the cadence required and the finish line of every goal.
ISLAGIATT came and I was ready for the mental grind of long steady efforts. This was a way of Honouring the effort and the goal. My mental drift occurs during these long grinds, but I had one last trick up my sleeve to defeat the minions… black grapes. I laid out 22 black grapes and hit play. Every 5 minutes I popped one of those grapes in my mouth and began the countdown to the next grape. The “Knights Prepping the Castle” reference with 13 minutes remaining was the cue to crush the final climb. That last climb was really, really hard, but I finally ate the last grape. I shut off my Whoop Activity tracker with 11 hours, 57 minutes and 2 seconds logged. It took a lot just to get my leg over the Kickr top tube.
I just laid on the floor and our dog Libby showed her support.
Thank You to the Knights who have posted advice throughout the forum, I’ve studied it since my decision in January to take this on. While I do not like pickles, I had a jar within reach the entire time. The order of the videos was key, from the start of Stage 7, there really wasn’t much thought of what I had in front of me, I was focused on each cue and cadence target. I beat the 8 minute countdown timer every time, but a couple got close.
Thank you to Wahoo and especially @Rupert and @Helga who have assisted along the way, and are dedicated to the Suffering we all enjoy so much. I’ll say it again, for the grief Wahoo gets, they’ve taken Sir Neil’s masterful creations and improved the platform on which they are delivered. Progress can be a difficult, and I miss some of the early titles, but I doubt I would be playing DVD’s with my bike loaded on my old Kinetic by Kurt turbo (which still sits on a shelf in my garage). Thank you for the Kickr Bike and SYSTM, it has motivated me to lose 65 lbs, train for and successfully complete Knighthood and most importantly, love riding a bike again. Tomorrow, I turn 55 and I am (nearly) at the fitness I had at 35.
Form submitted, Mission Complete.
Al Daniel
Great write up and epic finish on ISLAGIATT… wow.
I love the grape trick.
Enjoy your new year basking in the Honour, Glory, Victory of Agonian knighthood. What an amazing to cap off reclaiming both your fitness and love of cycling. Chapeau, Sir.
Fantastic write up, Sir Al. And a fantastic voyage to get there too! 
IWBMATTKYT #tuhntf
For now, as we often say:
THHHPPHHHAABBBAAARFF! : which translates from Painglish to English as “You must excuse me. I must complete another interval of soul-shattering intensity and duration! May your competitors rue the day they pinned on a number!”
Congrats on a job well done @dukhuntr !
Enjoy the festivities today and why not crack open a bottle of real Pagne 
To close out the Quest, birthday was fantastic with a small group of co-workers joining me at a bourbon bar. Had a glass of George T. Stagg, which was exquisite. Certificate arrived via email Thursday, and envelope from GVA yesterday… Decals. Designation noted also, many thanks to the dedicated community, look forward to buying some gear to show off the accomplishment. Legs are back and Phil Wins the Tour might not have been the best next ride, but I survived.
Heck yes you survived, well done!