Not to diminish your intent, but I WIN EVERY TIME I RIDE!
FACT!
You need to check your definition of winning! It really IS like @Heretic said, it’s about mental framing.
I’m NOT talking about the nonsense thinking that says to give every kid a prize, a pat on the back, another medal, etc etc
There DOES need to be EFFORT and WORK DONE! But only you know what is your best on a given day, or even what is your GOAL on a given day. Some days, the WIN is by going easier and getting recovery.
But when you DO decide to turn yourself inside out and you do that, REJOICE! You just won the day! The time result cannot be the final judge of YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENT.
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If you went to the Olympics, and got a sliver or bronze medal would you be disappointed?
In racing, you cannot control what the other people are doing. They might be better than you on that day. You can only control what you can control.
Maybe there is something you could improve, form, hydration, nutrition, better strategy – but in the end you can only do the best you can. You cannot prevent somebody being better than you, including the younger you.
The past is gone…the future is not here yet…there is only today
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and Monday 
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As long as there is a purpose, there is a reason.
FF is only a means to an end. As long as you want to train to stay in any kind of shape, and if you feel these are the workouts you want to do, then it has a purpose. Doesn’t matter what side of the rollercoaster of life you’re on.
Unless your doctor says not to do FF, there can be a reason to do it. But only if it serves the purpose it’s meant to fill.
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@Heretic if I am being honest, yes. But, that is how I feel about myself.
Do you see that as a permanent state of affairs?
No but, and you stated above, right now it’s the best I can do.
That is all that one can do.
If you continue to go forward, you will have a fighting chance . At least that is what my almost 72 years have taught me.
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You can always blame the weather being against you!
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