Sir Ruben's Quest

TEAM SUFFERLANDRIA UNITED, WE NEED YOUR HELP

We are presently about $3K shy of our Goal, and Sir Ruben has a plan. During Stage 7, Sir Ruben will attempt to eat a dozen donuts while riding at 100% on a Live-Stream video (so we can all watch).

— I have contacted Gerry to be standing by with his SUF Bucket!

Here’s where the team comes in; each donut has a price, and that price needs to be paid to Sir Ruben’s donation page. The donuts are priced as below, so pick the one (or more) that you can afford. Then, make the donation, and comment below.

Here’s the price list:

Donut No. 1 = a $5 donation paid for by Sir Tim

Donut No. 2 = a $10 donation paid for by Sir Tim

Donut No. 3 = a $15 donation paid for by Sir Tim

Donut No. 4 = a $20 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 5 = a $25 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 6 = a $30 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 7 = a $35 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 8 = a $40 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 9 = a $45 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 10 = a $50 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 11 = a $55 donation paid for by Sir Heretic

Donut No. 12 = a $60 donation paid for by Sir Joe

I will even get this started by paying for Donut No. 12 myself. Which means, the other eleven need to be bought in order to make my dream filled donut purchase count.

LET’S DO THIS!

Donation Link in the first Comment.

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Make your donation to Sir Ruben’s Quest here:

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I’ve ordered donuts 1-3, enjoy :smiley:

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I ordered all the remaining doughnuts.

Will there be visual evidence as was the case last year?

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Sir Ruben intends to live stream the Stage. Hopefully it will be recorded in full technicolor Glory!

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This is going to be suf-tastic!!

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With Sir Heretic generously rounding out the box of donuts, perhaps we can entice Sir Ruben to try for a Bakers Dozen! Name your price, Sir Ruben…

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No way in Sufferlandrian Hell am I eating beyond 12 delicious Krispy Kreme donuts for this year’s Tour of SUF Shenanigan! Thanks to all of you who are funding this quest. You know it feels great to be supporting the Davis Phinney Foundation! The downside of this quest is that these great tasting pillows of glazed goodness, don’t taste so wonderful after the fourth or fifth one. Don’t worry though, my appetite for them returns in about a week. Here’s a shameless plug to let you know where you can find some Krispy Kreme donuts close to you: Krispy Kreme | Doughnuts, Coffee & Drinks

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Well, nothing left to do but to pay for the Ambulance…

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This is your ticket to the spectacle of Sir Ruben’s Tour of SUF Stage 7 Donut Eating Shenanigan. Whether successful or unsuccessful you’ll be there to see it all go down (and not back up). The fun starts at 9:00AM Central time this Saturday morning. While I’m eating donuts can a few of you please take screenshots of the ensuing mayhem?

Here’s the Zoom Meeting link you can share far and wide.

@TeamDPF , Team Sufferlandria United and the Knights of Sufferlandria KoS Zwift Club are inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Tour of SUF Stage 7A and 7B

Time: Mar 7, 2026 09:00 AM Central Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting

https://us06web.zoom.us/j/89453531545?pwd=clhmpjeh1cBzVSncqrYwffog38boba.1

Meeting ID: 894 5353 1545

Passcode: 241593

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4am Sunday for me but MIGHT just be worth getting up for :rofl:

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I see that… It will hopefully be recorded, or at least have some screenshots taken.

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Between Kitchen Sink, the Knight Ride, and Sir Ruben’s shenanigans. I’m not sure I will have enough screens to watch them all!

So much enterpainment!

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I do think it fair for all those who have suffered for the title to be called Sir, as I am not a Knight.

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I trust that part is covered by insurance.

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Not yet joined up? Be part of this epic Quest, too! Ride with the Donut-Vanquisher Sir Ruben @Medina81 and the best Group Ride on a Saturday.

Join the Knight Rides on which this Quest takes place HERE.

Donuts :check_mark:
Banded :check_mark:
Tour friendly :check_mark:
GvA-approved :check_mark:

Read all about it here:

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@Heretic — I would rather err on the side of caution, and face the anger of the Knights before the wrath of the Minions. :wink:

… and I recently renovated and added a flogging station off my pain cave, so all is well.

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I hope Sir @Medina81 has a stomach that’s as strong as his legs!

If I recall, last year @Heretic did some mathematics about calories/grams of carbohydrates or fat consumption within a period of time and it seemed that eating a dozen donuts during a ride isn’t a good idea. But… that hasn’t stopped me before and it will not stop me now! I will just have a little chat with myself before the ride (Positive Self Talk) and keep repeating, “Shut Up Tummy”. Yes, I like to wear pro jerseys. No, this is not a picture of me.

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My calculations last year did not interfere with me buying doughnuts for you this year.

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