/crazy
…but we still love him.
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My KOS Aug 25, 2023
Edit: I should warn you to find somewhere comfortable to sit and make sure you have a good solid chunk of time to commit before reading through this ride report… 
It’s been no secret that The Sufferfest has been a huge part of my life and a major connection between myself and my ailing father since April, 2020. I share my love of cycling because of him. I ride the bike my dad could no longer ride when ALS/PSP robbed him of the ability to balance. And more connections that I’ve written about many times and will not rehash again now both for brevity and my own sanity.
Sadly, he expectedly and yet unexpectedly passed away earlier this year after ALS/PSP finally claimed his life and God made his final call. On Feb 25 my sister called to inform me of his passing while I was riding Defender during my Defender for Dan challenge. Just over a month later, Sir David McQuillen informed us of his intent to retire from The Sufferfest.
In Nov, 2020 I rode my first KOS - intending it to be my singular Knighthood attempt - in my father’s honor. I began with The Bat with its MTP connection and ended with Defender both of which reminded me every time of my dad’s continual mental and physical battle that, unlike a KOS quest, was a sufferfest that he had never chosen to participate in. I have since ridden 2 subsequent quests, all with different unique line-ups.
And so in one final act of honor in memorial for my father, and in thanks to Sir David McQuillen for The Sufferfest - which despite being 1,000 miles away brought us closer together than we had been in years - I chose to ride the exact same playlist of rides from my first KOS quest. They are/were:
- The Bat
- Nine Hammers
- Angels
- Butter
- Fight Club
- The Wretched
- The Trick
- Thin Air
- The Omnium
- Defender
My original plan was to ride this in June on the 4 month anniversary of his passing, but my back issues kept that from happening. And so, on Aug 25, the 6th month anniversary of my dad’s passing, I re-rode my original KOS quest playlist as my 4th KOS quest. Here is but a brief (ha!) post-ride report of my attempt.
The night before I filled up 3 Maurten bottles, 7 bidons. and two 1-liter bottles of water and put them in the fridge in the garage to chill. My nutrition plan was similar to my third attempt, but to simplify it a little. I wanted to take in 80g of carbs for every hour of riding which should be simple as every video I had in my list except 2 were between 55-59 minutes long, and those 2 exceptions were 46 and 47 minutes long. So, essentially 80g per video. In my previous attempt I alternated between Maurten 320 and Maurten 160 packets. This time I was only using Maurten 320 packets. Each contains 79g of carbs, so I just needed to drink one bottle per ride. I also had pre-sorted bags of PB M&M’s (16g), Honey Stinger stroopwafles (19g), and Honey Stinger fruit smoothie flavored gel packets (24g). So, if I choose to have food and a Maurten packet I would end up with just under 100g of carbs per hour. On top of that I would have a 750ml bottle of water with only LMNT for sodium and electrolytes - the carb content being negligible, but the extra salt and flavor making them easier to drink when I was tired - that would last me for 2 videos, and then one other bottle of plain water on hand for whenever I just needed a drink of plain water for whatever reason.
I woke up at 2:20am PDT. Planned start time 4:04am. I came down and checked out my pain cave to gather myself and plan what do to for the day. The first thing I noticed was the note from GVA (that my wife made) taped to my handlebars. I made sure to move it directly in front of me and below my TV for a prime up-front location where I could look at it. And my dad’s picture right above the TV.
Then I hit the bathroom and then the kitchen to get my pre-ride fueling in which consisted of 96g of carbs and a full bottle of water: A flour tortilla, 1 stroopwafle, 2 Eggo waffles (plain), and a little more than a serving of Wheat Thins crackers.
I was ready at 3:40am, so I dressed in my SUF bibs, laser goat base layer, KOS jersey, and custom KOS BondiBand sweatband and then took a few photos, got all my bottles ready and set by my bike. I had my TV on and everything connected to my PC as expected - with the typical pattern of turning BT off and back on once to get my trainer to connect properly - and then I was ready.
At 4:04am I was off and cycling with The Bat. Posted my update here, posted an update to the FB groups, and then hit the main efforts.
In my quest first and third quests I felt strong and started off at 80%. Today I was not feeling as strong or as eager. I had more time off in July and August than I planned. And in my first quest I ended up with tendonitis in my knee from the combo of videos 6, 7, and 8. So this time I started at 75% with the intent of holding that for the entire list and staving off any tendonitis.
For some reason - and I don’t want to be too TMI, but… - despite having plenty of fiber and fluids during the week before, I was feeling a bit constipated and not fully empty when I started, nor after my first ride. This would be a continuing problem throughout the day until video 8.
I started The Bat (at 75%) with a Maurten 100cal/100caf gel (25g carbs) to get me awake, and then drank my first Maurten 320 and half my first LMNT bottle. In the beginning I was a bit distracted by posting my social media updates. But then settled in. In previous attempts I did a lot of picture taking of various funny and motivating scenes as I went along. But this time I planned to be aware and present for more of my rides.
Between the bottle before I started and the drinks during The Bat, I was plenty hydrated. And my belly was feeling a bit full as it felt a bit of a chore to drink the whole bottle of Maurten. I made a quick stop by the potty on the way to get my next bottle of 320 (and filled the old bottle with new water and a new packet of 320 and stuck it in the fridge) and then decided to stop again on the way back for a quick Tom D. stop.
All was fine and I got back on the bike in time for my second ride.
For Nine Hammers (at 75%) I listened to the custom playlist I created over the past year. It felt way more familiar and motivating to me than the original music (sorry not sorry!) as I’ve ridden to it twice and listened to it many many more times over the past 6 months as I created and perfected it and then listened to it over and over again. I had another bottle of 320 and a bag of PB M&M’s (16g) because I really felt I needed something solid in my stomach.
Once I finished 9H I it was transition time again. At this point after two hours of riding I had consumed 199g carbs while riding on top of the 96g pre-ride. As my belly was still feeling rather full I was wondering if I was going to be able to keep this up and average 100g of carbs every ride. When I only had the 320 bottle I felt like I needed something solid to eat. But when I also ate something solid it felt like a bit too much. Had I pre-fueled too much with the 96g? Only time would tell, really.
Again two potty stops (sigh) and grabbed a new bottle of 320, and this time a new bottle of LMNT as well.
Angels (at 75%) went well, tho with the few long intervals I wasn’t drinking quite as often and felt like I was forcing myself to drink. I also had my first Honey Stinger gel.
All told I stopped as planned to use the bathroom between every video, but ended up doing Tom D stops more often than I planned. The only problem popped up between videos 6 and 7 when my wife was using the bathroom next to my pain cave and I had to run upstairs to the empty one. But it was unoccupied and wasn’t too far and I made it back down with time to spare.
After Angels my wife came in to say good morning around 7:15am and that was my first interaction with my family as everyone slept in past 7am. As they individually straggled downstairs they were all disappointed that I had already ridden 9H and they had missed my custom soundtrack and the SUF humor.
My son came in while I was riding Butter (at 75%). He’s very talkative and helped distract me, tho he does ask a lot of questions which are hard to answer while riding hard. Eventually he was called into the kitchen to eat breakfast. lol. Knowing that I would still be there for a number of hours for him to come back and watch me later.
Butter was the first time I started to feel hints of fatigue which was disconcertingly early. Previously I was easily holding my cadence at 90rpms or more, but now my rpms were dropping closer to 80-85. The 90 second efforts felt longer than I wanted them to; and the long semi-recoveries in between efforts was making me question the whole idea of riding this KOS attempt. Honestly, this was really the first time in 4 attempts that I had ever had that thought come into my head. During my first attempt the growing tendonitis in my knee made me wonder if I should stop early but only because of the physical discomfort. So this was the first time I had mentally questioned my efforts and if I was just too tired.
Ever since my father passed away I’ve felt more tired and more drained both physically and mentally, especially in the afternoons - which is a typical symptom of the of grief and recovery after the loss of a loved one. I knew that was likely going to make my attempt a little more difficult, but didn’t expect it to hit me in this way. This was just the beginning of the real mental and physical battle that lasted the rest of the day. Thankfully, I had done The Bat as my first ride and I used my MTP skills to speak positively to myself about the rest of the day and try to banish the negative thoughts.
In Fight Club (75%) I could feel the fatigue building some more, but was still feeling good. The question was going to be just how well I was going to be able to get through The Wretched and how much recovery there was really going to be. I could feel the occasional twinge in my right knee, but nothing like my first KOS and I concentrated on keeping my pedal strokes smooth and my cadence high to ensure I didn’t have too much torque on my knee.
By now I was fully beginning to battle my mental fatigue. Despite finishing 5 workouts I knew the next 3 were going to be the hardest part. It definitely did not feel like halfway. And for me, at least on this day, finishing ride number 7 definitely felt closer to halfway. In fact, I never really felt like I was getting there until I finished ride number 8. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
The Wretched (75%) was the beginning of the pain. This is the same intensity I initially rode it on during my first KOS. My daughter came in and talked to me for a while. That helped pass the time and keep me mentally occupied and not overly focus on how I was feeling. I could definitely feel my cadence slowing and I did have to stand a few times to get some extra power down to increase my cadence back up, but I still averaged 80rpms, so it wasn’t too bad. And I kept focusing on the extra recovery that I should get during The Trick.
And at this point my stomach was still feeling a bit too full, so I eased off the Maurten 320 a bit and didn’t finish my full bottle. And I did more eating and less drinking. I just made sure to keep on my LMNT schedule to finish a full bottle every 2 videos.
For The Trick (75% level) I kept the targets at 75%. I did the warm up in ERG mode, but then switched to Level mode before the first main effort. This was where the wheels started to come off, and it was really my fault for suffering too much. Level mode in the recovery sections was very helpful and felt much better than trying to fight the erg mode resistance. But I tried to give almost everything I had for each of the AC efforts to hold the targets. And that meant after the fourth effort I was completely gassed. I then switched back to ERG mode for the final 18:30 of suffering.
From the graph you can see all the power spikes and cadence drop as I kept having to get out of the saddle to keep my cadence from dropping too low. Finally, halfway through that section my legs came back enough that I could keep my cadence out of the basement. I averaged 77rpms for the whole ride, but so much of that was the long recovery sections in level mode and keeping 70+ rpms in that final long interval was really hard. I considered turning the intensity down a few times, but I left it at 75% and just prayed that I could hold it long enough to make it through. And I did. But it took a lot out of me when I didn’t have much left. And I feared for the suffering of Thin Air coming up next.
At this point I was so efficient with my 10-minute breaks that even tho I was taking the full 10 minutes for each break, my wife thought I was behind schedule as she rarely saw or heard me when I came out to use the bathroom and grab my bottles. I was half a bottle of 320 behind, but I was trying to make up for it with gels and PB m&m’s. My wife offered to make a couple PB&J sandwiches - which she and the kids did for all my previous 3 KOS quests - but I had done so well at sticking to my fueling plan (except for being half a bottle behind) that I was feeling full and wasn’t sure that I could fit in a sandwich without bringing it back up. So to break with tradition, I declined.
Thin Air (70%/65%) was where it all really hit the fan. After The Wretched with only small moments of recovery, and using up all my AC reserves (and more) in The Trick, here was a ride with no real recovery at all. Just a nice long 40 minute climb. I knew my legs were nearly toast, so I turned the ride down to 70% hoping to get enough recovery in the warm up.
For almost the whole ride I was on the struggle bus. My daughter came in to talk to me and she asked how I felt. My legs were tired and while I initially had a cadence around 80rpms during the warm up, it then fell into the 60’s. But worse, my wrists were sore, my hands were sore, and my neck was sore. I had a hard time holding my head up to watch the tv screen. And I couldn’t find a comfortable position to put my hands on the handlebars.
Around the 25 minute mark the desire to quit and end the suffering had gradually built up inside me head with such increasing intensity that I genuinely considered stepping off the bike. At this moment I knew I had to do something or I was not going to finish this KOS which would have been the ultimate travesty. I wasn’t doing this KOS for me (well, really I am, but still at the same time I’m not. I think you know what I mean). And how could I honor my father by quitting when it got hard? My dad was never allowed to quit his suffering. If he could suffer for 9 nine years then I could suffer for less than 2.5 more hours. At around the 28 minute or 30 minute mark I turned the intensity down to 65% and reached the closest thing to a recovery section.
I was still trying to find a comfortable handlebar and tried to rest on my aero bars when the left on slipped loose. I fiddled with it for a couple of minutes. I tried to use it with it loose. But it was worse trying to balance on just one bar. Fortunately I had my allen wrenches in my small plastic set of drawers next to my bike where I keep all my in-ride fuel and tools. I was able to get out the right size wrench on the first try and began tightening the bolt on the underside of the bar (by feel). Well, after the first turn I of course dropped the allen wrench.
After a minute or two of thought, I quickly climbed off the bike, picked up my wrench and the got back on and began pedaling again. All told it took me about 15 seconds to get it and begin pedaling again. That minute amount of rest was a Godsend. My legs felt better than they had in the past hour. I turned the intensity of the video back up to 70% for the final 6 minutes of the main set which are some of my favorite moments of any Sufferfest workout. For whatever reason, that music and those moments motivate me more than anything. My cadence was back over 85rpms and I smashed The Shark and his guppies! I won’t let The Shark turn the screws on me!
At this point I was now at around 760g of carbs with 8 videos done and 2 left to go. It was increasingly hard to get my food in. I had taken in 7 bottles of Maurten 320 rather than 8. But I was still averaging 95g of carbs per video. So, all-in-all I wasn’t going to bonk. I just had to manage my effort for video number 9 so I could go all-in for number 10.
The Omnium (70% level) was originally my nemesis workout. It would destroy me when I first started The Sufferfest likely because I was pretty new to cycling and had been mostly doing a lot of time trial workouts for my triathlons because I was self-coached just didn’t know enough about proper training. Now, 3 years later, it is no longer the nemesis that it once was. But that doesn’t mean it was going to be a walk-in-the-park, especially at number 9!
True to my word, I did The Omnium in level mode. And wow did that make a big difference! I was worried that level mode was going to make it harder and I had already been struggling for the past 3 videos. When I first did The Omnium I was doing it on a dumb trainer in level mode. And now here I was full circle doing it level mode again. I didn’t let myself ease off while in level mode. I still tried to match or exceed every target. But the recovery sections not being erg mode was just a huge relief. And this wasn’t a massive long endurance climb. And there was even a section where I was supposed to get off the bike!
I loved the music and the higher cadences. I rode a lot of it in the little ring and used cadence to increase and decrease my power which work great and felt fantastic (for the first half of the video, at least). At the end of the elimination race I felt my first emotional release. I was expecting more, but I think because I had to harden up my mental reserves because of my early struggles I had effectively walled off my emotions to keep them from letting me down. Finally I was feeling stronger and seeing the light at the end the tunnel and that allowed for a few tears. But they didn’t last long and I had to quickly get back at it. I definitely didn’t recover during this video, but by the time it ended I certainly felt stronger rather than weaker, which was a relief.
And with all the suffering I had finally earned my 10th and final video.
Finally, the moment arrived. Here came Defender (70%). I had finished most of 8 bottles of Maurten 320. I had planned on 10. But 8 was all I could fit in. I had the last 1/4 of my 8th bottle, the last half of a bottle of LMNT, and a cold bottle of water. If I needed anything else it was going to be a gel. I had started the first ride with a Maurten 100cal/100caf gel and planned to have a second after ride 7 or 8 to give me extra energy for the finish, but I had forgotten. I managed to take in a Honey Stinger gel and the last forgotten PB M&M’s from the bag I had forgotten about and pressed on.
This ride was agony. My neck was so sore and I couldn’t look up at the screen for more than a minute. Not that I wanted to, tho, because it only reminded me of how much longer each interminable effort was going to last as the clock seemed to slow to a crawl. I would listen to the music and stare at my stem. Every time I looked up there was at least 2 minutes more remaining that I thought or hoped. When I got halfway… which was the point I was at when I found out my dad passed away… I was too zoned out and walled-off emotionally to feel. And my family was crowded around me watching me ride and cheering me on.
Somewhere into my third interval they all left the room (my wife kept trying to get my son to stop repeating the word “Badassness” 
). They came back in a couple times to check on me and cheer me on. But mostly they let me finish that third interval on my own. My son came in an sat in the desk chair next to me right before the last recovery. Then this next screen popped up telling you to picture your reason why. I pointed to the picture of my dad above the TV and said “That’s the reason why. My dad and the 3 of you.” My son said “Awwww…” and then burst into tears.
I couldn’t get off the bike to comfort him, so I signed “I love you” to him 2 or 3 times which he signed back and touched my hand each time. But he was still bawling. I had to tell him to go find his mom so she could give him some good hugs. He ran off to go find here and then the final interval started and it was just me. I heard my son calm down in the other room. And I managed to keep pedaling and pushing on no matter how tired my legs felt. The last interval felt really hard and not that hard all at the same time. I barely even remember it. I was mostly staring at my stem and breathing.
And then… I was done!
I finally got off my bike and did a few stretches. Then I walked into the other room and my family was there with a banner, applause, and a lot of hearty congratulations. 
My wife had filled up the bathtub with as cold of water as we could get (still like 70 degrees because… Las Vegas). So, I went upstairs and sat in the bathtub for around 15 minutes. Then I took a shower and came back downstairs. I had a beer and rested before picking up two nice large pizzas from Costco and enjoying our traditional Friday family pizza and movie night.
Then my wife accidentally slammed her finger in the garage door and the back bracket of my son’s braces came of and we couldn’t really enjoy a relaxing evening, but that’s life in Sufferlandria for you.
I could probably write a tale twice this long, but I think this is all the important parts (and more).
Some final notes:
I rode the entire playlist in the same bib shorts. I purchased a new pair of SUF bibs in April. I’ve worn them for 2 or 3 rides. They feel great, tho the decorative trim on the bottom of the legs seems to bother my legs and I have to pull them up a bit. But, other than a couple applications of chamois cream, they were great for the entire ride. Exactly how I did my first KOS - just one pair of bib shorts.
I started in my KOS jersey, but this was the first KOS I’ve done in August and it was definitely too warm for a jersey. I rode with my KOS sweatband (which I rinsed out a few times) and changed my base layer 3 times. I started with the laser goat base layer. Switched to my Wahoominati base layer after 3 videos. Then after 4 more videos I switched to my LV Tri club base layer for the final 3. My wife came in to take a couple pictures and I put on my red SUF jersey. But a few minutes later I took it back off as it was just too hot.
Despite this being the shortest of any of my KOS playlists, it has been the hardest one I’ve ever done, both times. That combo of The Wretched, The Trick, and then Thin Air is just brutal with so many long efforts and so little recovery. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t ride those AC efforts so hard in The Trick, but then that would just be cheating myself and totally outside the spirit of a KOS.
With everything that’s happened in the past 6 months I’m truly mentally exhausted. Every day is more of a struggle than I can remember it ever being. The week leading up to this attempt I was already thinking of how I could convince my wife that it would be fine to do my 5th KOS attempt in November on the anniversary of my previous 3 even tho I was just doing on in August. But during and after this attempt I am truly questioning that idea. Maybe in a month or even a couple weeks my mind will change as my body recovers. But at this point I have never been less sure of it than I have ever been.
I do have a playlist for #5 mostly ready to go - tho with a couple changes that I will almost definitely make - but I really have more questions to answer than that at the moment. And I will definitely need to improve my fitness. So right now it’s more a question of “if” than “when”. But when that decision is made you all will of course be the first to know. Well, after The Wahoominati, of course… #TWAAW #MoreThanYou #TUHNTF
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You are an inspiration to the nation, Sir Evan! Thank you for sharing this with us!
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Great write-up Sir Evan. You’re an exceptional story teller!
As for a 5th, don’t let me talk you out of it but by bookending your 1st and 4th it seems complete. A certain, beautiful symmetry.
Again, whatever you decide, YOU are LEGEND!!
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Thank you for sharing this with us, Sir Evan! Congratulations on KOS #4!
Reading this brought a tear to my eye. I love the support you’re getting from your family.
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Really inspirational Sir Evan and massive congratulations on your fourth KoS!
That makes you Sir Sir Sir Sir Evan 
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or Sirs Evan…or Sir Evans
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I believe “Sirs Evan” would be the correct plural for an honorific. Like “Sergeants Major”.
You’re welcome.
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It does, doesn’t it.
And yet… and yet…
Whether or not I end up doing this, here is my as of yet very unofficial playlist for #5 (if it happens, of course).
I’m still considering Thin Air. I love the last 10 minutes of the workout as one of my favorite endings. But it has no recovery at all. So, if I choose to keep it in, it needs to be in early. I did Team Scream early for #3 last November and had no problems with it. There also just isn’t any must-have video that’s work replacing it with. So, for now, it stays.
Also considering if I should put Defender at #10 or #13. Both seem like good places. Although I’m leaning towards switching it to #10. That way I will do it no matter what in case I need to bail on my bonus 3 for any unforeseen reasons. And ending on Violator at the actual final video seems spectacular - either for going out with with brilliant and legendary suffering or incredibly brutally amazing self-destruction.
The Model is one of my other favorite rides. So, I’m trying to figure out if there is a better place than #7 as I found last year that even at 70/75% it’s very taxing that far into a KOS.
In fact, I have a lot of questions about many of these videos and their order. Pretty much the only solid point is starting with Rue the Day as it’s the newest video and the only one that has not been included in any of my quests.
But anyway. As your requested, that’s my way too early if it even happens list.
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How about Defender at #10 and #13? Sir @Glen.Coutts might appreciate that!
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That * might * work. Because according to the KOS rules you can’t ride any video title more than once. So, according to the rules it wouldn’t be allowed. But then since the second time would be #13 as just a bonus video, technically it could be allowed since it’s not part of the main KOS playlist. So, depends on if I follow the letter or the spirit of the rules with just the first 10 or also with my bonus rides.
My feeling would be to follow the spirit of the rules for the whole way since that’s kind of the idea going back to the original reason I decided to ride original videos. But * technically * it would be allowable. In a similar vein I could start the day riding Igniter which is not an acceptable KOS video as long as I rode 10 valid videos afterward. Or also end on Extra Shot as long as I rode at least 10 videos before.
That reminds me of one of the stories between KOS 1 and KOS 4 that I didn’t mention in my not-so-brief ride report, largely because I’ve mentioned it a number of times before. My first KOS included some sensor connection issues before video #3 (Angels) where it may have taken me 11 or 12 minutes to start video #3. So I tried to ride 12 videos to ensure I still had 10 in a row with the correct time gap in between them. I had really wanted to end my first KOS with Defender. But because I felt I needed to get those 10 in a row I found 2 more to ride after Defender. I then ended up riding 10 and a half because I rode half of Do As You’re Told before my computer crashed and my attempt ended, and was ultimately accepted.
I’ve since ridden 11 in my 2nd KOS and 12 in my 3rd. In this 4th attempt I intentionally rode only my original 10 so I could actually end on Defender. Before that I was going to use this list of 13 and also finish on Defender. But now that I have actually rectified my original botched attempt and finished on Defender I might switch it to #10. I rode Violator at number 3 in my second attempt. But it really feels like it should be ridden last rather than in the middle. Hence my conundrum with this list.
And that was WAY longer than I intended for this * quick * response to be. 
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I received my KOS decals, yesterday, Sep 25, from Dame Ellisa. They arrived exactly one month after I completed my quest.
So, the Knights of SUF are still being taken care of.
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Woot woot! Cheers!
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Because I don’t know when to quit… (or maybe I do?)
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Why Cap’n? Just…why?
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