Knights of Sufferlandria Announcement

Hear Ye Hear Ye!

The Minions have been busy! GvA sent us to do some spring cleaning in the castle, as the dust and cobwebs have been left for far too long. Rather than Getting Away With It, we’ve learned to Do As You’re Told when it comes to GvA’s instructions - plus we agreed it was High Time. We took A Downward Spiral staircase into A Very Dark Place and we’ve done The Chores. Although It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time, what a harrowing experience! At one point, we thought we were seeing Angels after facing off with an Attacker - thank goodness it wasn’t Fluffy, it was only The Bat (and The Shovel sent him on his way!)

We finally found The Way Out and are excited to announce a new home for the Knights of Sufferlandria list.

Some additional perks for Knights of Sufferlandria - The Hunted, Local Hero and Vintage Fight Club are now Knights Only videos! So, it only follows that those particular videos are no longer on the eligible list for Knighthood, as those outside of the Castle will not be able to access the videos. G.O.A.T. has also been removed from the list of eligible videos - Grunter decided it was far too easy for Knighthood - (we’ve only just made it back from the flogging station after he found out it had been included!) Grunter hasn’t mentioned any eviction notices forthcoming, but if your Knighthood included The Hunted, Local Hero or G.O.A.T, you may want to consider updating your Quest!

We have some additional announcements coming soon for our Knights of Sufferlandria, including a new kit (we haven’t done away with kits, but we are in the process of securing a new kit partnership). Keep watching for these announcements, but please be patient with us, as we Minions are few in number, and it’s a very large castle to maintain!


Thanks @Dame.Ellisa.Podemski for keeping the Knights castle in check!

I trust the Goats in the castle grounds will get get lured away by the sweet smell of donuts?

Also, loving the map!!


@Dame.Ellisa.Podemski This is Fantastic news!

I am very pleased to see a new more permanent and visible home for the honorarium of Knights!

I am sad that The Hunted and Local Hero are no longer Knighthood-eligible. But it’s better to have them saved than forced into being remastered. Maybe GvA can have updated versions made and released to the Sufferlandrian masses like Fight Club so the rest of the nation can still enjoy the suffering while the Knights continue to enjoy the vintage versions…

Definitely looking forward to the release of the new kit! What else would Dame Delaware after her knighthood attempt? Her new jersey!


Nicely put :ok_hand:


I hear I hear!! Thank you @Dame.Ellisa.Podemski and Sir @Rupert.H for improving the layout. The triple column thing makes the list much nicer to look at. And the map is a nice touch too.

A couple little points.

  • In the heading of the list page “Honour” is spelled without the u, but in the text following it is spelled with it. I’m from the “with a u” school of honour and the original COA also uses this spelling.

  • is there any way to bring back the numbering of Knights like from the before times? One of my motivations was to be in the first 100 Canadians to become a Knight and always liked seeing that.

  • it is FANTASTIC to see a link to the Knighthood Challenge on the SYSTM Homepage! LOVE LOVE LOVE that! :clap: :clap: :clap:

  • will the blog page be decommissioned or rewritten to match the new one?

I can’t wait to see what the minions have come up with for kit design and any other Knight and/or SUF related swag!


Sir Glen - Done and Done (the total number for each country) I know you’d probably like to see the numbers beside each name - but this will have to do for now! I have a flogging station appointment!


precisely that, but wow! Thanks for the speedy updates between floggings!


Hear! Hear!
Awesome to have you @Dame.Ellisa.Podemski leading the spring cleaning.

Thank god I am planning for another one which should run on schedule this coming May if all things considered goes according to plan.

Yes!!! Cheers to that!

Edit: And talking about the COA, would we then be going back to the OG COA?


This is fine fine work - however my name seems to have been erased from the pages of history - I’m fairly sure I suffered suitably!


I have my name listed twice (for my first two quests). Does this mean my name would be added an additional 3 times? :innocent::grin:

Is the original COA coming back? That would be fantastic!

I did GOAT once as number 11 out of sheer principle, so it won’t hurt any of my previous quests.

I am still sad to see The Hunted and Local Hero relegated to Knights only status, tho.

@Dame.Ellisa.Podemski is our Sufferlandrian hero of the year! :pray::tada:


good morning Sufferlandrians, have you suffered today?
just a question but if GOAT was part of the first attempt and The Hunted part of the second, will that still be considered as quest completed? asking for a friend :thinking:


Awesome work, greatly appreciated! My old (I’m 52!!) legs aren’t as capable as they used to be so I’m not sure I have another castle storming session in me - unless perhaps I can do it over 10 days :thinking: (yep, ok, perhaps not - flogging accepted!!). Looking forward to the new kit too - hopefully with the old COA on - I never really came around to the Laser Goat (as a concept yes, but not as a COA!). I am still committed to Sufferfest, proudly display the original flag in my pain cave, and love the workouts, but I also recognise the many benefits that Wahoo has brought to our Empire - great work, keep it up, and thank you!


Really disappointed with this decision to remove access to The Hunted and Local Hero from ordinary subscribers. I assume the same twisted logic that has kept Wahoo using that name for its users?


I believe the implication was that there’ll be no “evictions” for having GOAT on a quest, just no longer allowed going forward. And, neither The Hunted nor Local Hero were ever considered too easy, they’re just being “protected” in the vault.


I actually had planned to do The Hunted and Local Hero in the upcoming days, however I’m not mad about having it taken away. I believe there should be as much incentive as possible for greater achievements. If they had additional vintage sufferfest videos they’d like to seal away in the vault I think it’s a great idea, even if us “ordinary subscribers” are unable to access it.

I never would have considered doing the KoS challenge before (as I see little point to it since I race bikes competively and I don’t know how I’d schedule a 10+hr Sufferfest day into my training plan) but now I may just have to schedule a day I amp myself up and go for it! I love it. Delayed gratification is fantastic and makes life worthwhile.


I don’t know how anyone with kids or a partner schedules a 10+hr day. Its elitism and it stinks

Taking away something someone already has is punishment not delayed gratification.


Hey @JGreengrass, can you help me understand what you’re saying here, please?

I have a partner and kids, a local friend who quested on the same day as me also had a partner and kids. I imagine there are MANY Knights who have a partner and kids and jobs etc.


Yes, a quest completed is still a valid quest. All videos ridden at the time were eligible. The change will only be a change to eligible videos available for future quests. It won’t affect past quests.


phew… lucky - erm - me :sweat_smile:


I have kids and a partner. And tho I have completed multiple quests, they are generally once per year. And most knights have ridden just one quest in their lifetime. That’s one day out of their life. A singular event. That would be similar to travelling to a race. Or taking a single day off from work.

My wife is supportive and she and the kids usually make it a point to cheer me on and support me for one day. Similar to days where I or my wife have run or ridden in a race. Or days when my wife has traveled to a work conference for a couple days, or spent a day with her friends or her family.

That’s not to mention a number of knights who have done their quests in the middle of the night while the family slept.

It’s certainly not a lifelong commitment to 10 hour training days. Tho I’m sure GvA would enjoy the suffering from that and adding to his vintage shredded chamois collection and his well of SUF holy water.