Glad you are a but better Sir @montgoma. Looking forward to ride with you today!
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I see you got a video of Sir Alan in action.
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[Race Information] The Knight Rides! Paincave - Agonia - Paincave
Classification: 1.SUF
Departure: Paincave
Arrival: Paincave
Date: 11th of October
Starting Time: Depending on SUF-Timezone
Weather: Slight Blood Ash Rain
Startlist quality Score: 1.000
Starting Roster: 5 grizzled Sufferlandrians
Abandons: 1 (OOT)
Won how: Suffering of a small group
The autumn air had the smell of Suffering when the small Peloton lined up in the Paincaves. While there were fewer participants than in other races, the quality made it stand out.
The roll out from the Paincave brought us to the km 0 right at the Long Strait of Loneliness.
From there the speed ramped up. While it had been promised to be banded by the race Organizer, the Minion like usually had different plans and had entertained GvA by removing the banded function. So the suffering started unexpectedly a bit sooner for Citizen Blackwater (Team Citizens of Sufferlandria) than anticipated. It was joyfully accepted of course.
The race was in full flow after passing Agonia and reaching the side arm of Mount Sufferlandria. Holy Water was shed and a happy sense of enterPainment was in the reduced bunch.
Sadly Sir Evan @emacdoug (Team Knights of Sufferlandria) was OOT and had to take a short cut to his Paincave. He didn’t leave the race though without stamping his authority in suffering on it.
The Peloton regrouped at the peak and threw the back down with a splendid few of the Valley of the Nine Hammers in the distance.
With only two more sprints to tackle it was all headwind from there on. It was the day of the big favourite in the sprints and Citizen Chris “Hurricane” Wright (Team Citizens of Sufferlandria) @Chris_Wright easily outsprinted the competition after this hard day out.
The final results are still not in from the jury as this race, like any true Sufferlandrian race, was meassured in suffering. Preliminary results show a high probability though, that same Citizen Blackwater is at least a strong contender for a suffering podium place.
If you feel you missed out, reserve your spot in the next SUF-Race and pin on a number for the nation!
Thank you all for patiently waiting for me, and thanks for the great ride Sir @montgoma, Sir @Azrine, Sir @emacdoug and Citizen @Chris_Wright on this Grunter blessed Saturday!
Citizen “cooked legs” Blackwater
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The BIG question, is there interest for group sideloading Zwift with Kitchen Sink on National day?
I was thinking about this. Only downside is that if you record in zwift I’m not sure you’ll get the badge.
It was confirmed, if you only ride in Zwift you will NOT get the badge.
The only way to get the badge is to record in SYSTM.
You CAN ride in a Zwift ride! You would just need to dual-record in SYSTM to get the credit.
Likely scenario:
- device 1: SYSTM in erg mode controlling your trainer
- device 2: Zwift group ride recording power but not controlling you trainer.
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The plan is Sir, to set it up. As long as the primary control is with Systm and Zwift just gets the powerdata it should work as far as I understand it. As Systm is primary it should record and get the badge.
So basically it will be a long enough banded riding distance with “bring your own Kitchen Sink” in the background. Worst case it will be a long day out there all on myself. 
That way everyone can do or not do the workout. Cheering on all doing the proper Kitchen Sink is guaranteed.
@emacdoug You were faster ofc Sir!
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The Knight Rides! On Location: A Very Dark Place
This Series of On Location Rides leads you to the most famous regions in all Sufferlandria. We hit it of this week with one of the most favourite places for Knights and Citizens alike, A Very Dark Place.
This is a truely Auto-sadisto-dictatorial ride requiring every participant to bring a bell.
After a short warm up on the countryside it is time to finally visit A Very Dark Place. To do so, use a simple ring on the bell (“Ding!”), that should lead to reflexively standing up and going all out. You will soon then notice that it is already getting darker. When you just ring the bell again and sit down, you finally reached A Very Dark Place, todays destination. Whenever from now on on this ride you feel you can see the stem in front of you too clearly, just hit the bell again and off you go.
On this ride we learn how Real Pagne is properly prepared, visit Fluffy in her natural habitat and if you listen very closely you can even hear Grunter’s voice in your ears, just in the middle of A Very Dark Place.
Join The Knight Ride! On Location: A Very Dark Place HERE!
Everyone’s welcome, Knights and Citizens. Even if you forget your bell and just join for the ride.
Guaranteed 100% GvA approved and Couchlandrian free.
Every Saturday in the Off (or is it On?) Season.
Honour! Glory! Victory!
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I see that this week the sprint will be early, before the climbs! Perhaps to make the fire socks into fire legs later….
. The laser goats will be watching for the stragglers.
Although I did sign up for this ride, I may be doing a 50-60 mile outdoor ride that morning.
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Wait wait waittaminit….
Didn’t we just do the KOM last weekend? And the test climb the week before that? And now we’re doing them both?
A Very Dark Place indeed.
I hope you remember to keep it banded this week. 
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Whatever you choose, it will be an excellent choice!
It’s great to have you in the rides, but we are not going anywhere. I’m looking forward to having tons of sprints with you this season. Hopefully now only in banded rides, not after 60+ minutes TTing. My TT is really no Sir @montgoma Trademark TT.
If you decide for outdoors: Make the nation proud and make em … SUFFER.
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The last times were “practice”. For suffering that is. It was that route or some route including Road to Sky.
That one is reserved though for “On Lactation: Valley of 9 Hammers”.
On the other hand going 9 times up my favourite climb “Oh Hell No”, tempting as well….ah….no. That would be going close to 2/3 Knighting.
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Next thing we know, Minion Blackwater is going to assign “Power to the Tower” as a light warmup for Suf Day…just to make sure all the flogging stations are fully online.
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Loving this idea @Brann_Mac_Finnchad! But with some Pretzel-route we should be good on SUF day.
Watopia Pretzel eg. offers the splendor of Epic KOM, Radio Tower and reverse Epic-KOM (and some minor lumps and bumps).
There are other marvelous choices, too, so we really should be fine, even without a nominal extra workout, right?
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One of my goals for my next KOS - should I get there - is to do Igniter as a warm up. 
Not like a KOS needs a warm up.
Or does it… 
#MoreThanYou
#EverybodyHurts
#TUHNTF
#ShennanigansForever
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Thanks for putting the ride together, CoS Blackwater! Very fun group as usual. But, I will curse you with every stair I climb today.
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That first climb was nasty. Had to negative split it for an appropriate level of suffering.
Does the sound of a bell make you giggle? Or shiver?
DING! 
#EvilLaugh
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I am sorry to have missed the last couple rides but I have been flogging myself at cyclocross races! Three so far and I am having a blast…I haven’t felt this good in a few years, so I am going to keep racing for a few more weeks.
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What a ride!
It was a strong and able group of 9 Knights and Citizens that joined the first “On Location”-Ride, organized by the Ministry of Tourism and Culture of Sufferlandria.
After a quick sprint for a warm up it was time to turn from the great lactic acid seas into the heartland of Sufferlandria. As instructed we had brought our bells to the starting line. With the sound of the bell and much laughter we made our way deeper into the Very Dark Place we come together to explore.
The exploration was led for the first time this season by the esteemed Sir Ruben @Medina81. There are few guides that know the dark places and suffering better than him.
It was a true Knight Ride in every way. We were joyfully suffering the hardest and longest course this season until now. With almost 50k and over 900m of elevation we hit the long climbs hard and impatiently awaited the sections going downwards to end (especially as Sir Rich @rrutis was still lost in CX) .
(Photo: Sir Ruben/KoS)
It couldn’t be an Knight Ride without a short but splendorous TT of Sir Alan @montgoma, a sip by Sir Ruben, recorded at 1:09:14 h and much chatter and laughter.
Some of the chatter was shorter than on other rides, due to the regular sound of the bell calling to adjust the course deeper into the Very Dark Place.
After the last long and harsh climb it was finally time to make a last effort to sprint to the gate. Panting and - for me - spent we had reached the end of the ride for this week.
Thank you for joining this adventure excursion into the most harsh places of our beloved nation!
It was a pleasure to ride with all old and new faces Sir @Medina81, Sir @emacdoug, Sir @montgoma, Sir @Ian_Lurie, Sir @Darrylracki, Sir @JacobPilgaaard, Citizen @Chris_Wright and Citizen Malzbier.
Next week we will celebrate SUF-day in probably a lot smaller group, starting 30 minutes earlier to make up for the longer ride.
But if you feel you missed out on this ride? (You did!) There is a Knight Ride every Saturday until the end of the Season.
In a few weeks we might do another “On Location” ride, depending on if the Ministry of Tourism and Culture opens up the sacred roads of the Valley of Nine Hammers to us. Keep those bells ready till then.
So, CU next time On Location!
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