Alrighty; I’ve been having trouble mustering enthusiasm for this year’s tour, given * gestures at the Wahooligan headquarters *, but have planned to participate in this last “Official” tour.
Next year’s gives me more interest, tbh, when I plan to use a charity which means more to me personally (probably Lewy Body Dementia).
Still…I finally just sat down and created my menu for the traditional 9 day tour, entirely of Sufferfest Videos. Sadly, I am not attempting anything like last year’s truly insane schedule of 21 interval sessions….just a nice, even 15. Is anyone brave/crazy enough to try joining me on this much reduced Tour?
Saturday: We begin with a decision. The decision to return yet again to Sufferlandria. And so we start with No Place Like Home. Because you’ve been gone for a while, the border offices need to make sure that everything is operating correctly in a Full Frontal, and then chase off those remaining doughnuts in your blood with The Cure.
Sunday; The start of the official tour, you’re going to have to work your way back up through the ranks to become a Professional on the Sufferlandrian team…do your time as The Rookie, followed by a nice, Long Scream. You know, just to make sure the lungs are working. Hopefully those go well, because your reward for those was not having to do the chores, and will have to hit one last race if you want cash for a ride home…the Cash Register.
Monday: We’ll take it easy. A recovery day, as it were. GvA recommends the Revolver, as OVER 50% of the workout is you resting! Isn’t that great?!
Tuesday: Now that you’re all warmed up, it’s time to get back in the ring with Fight Club. Gotta earn some cash somehow.
Wednesday: So…maybe that wasn’t a great idea. Are those Angels you’re seeing spin around you, as you lay on the floor with your legs several feet away?
Thursday: You’ve shown what you can do on a sprint stage, and the KOMs…how is your TTT? If you let the nation down, you’ll find the Team Screaming at you. And have to walk home.
Friday: You did it! Absolutely the Best Thing in the World. This challenge is just a Joyride, right? Piece of cake!
Saturday: Um…probably shouldn’t have celebrated so soon. You’ve been assigned a nice, long ride through the Valley of the Nine Hammers. At least there is wine tour involved? Better watch out for the GOATs though…the ones in the vinyards of Sufferlandria are feeling frisky and ready to weed out the slackers.
Sunday: Oh, we can’t leave it with that! Celebrating at the tavern after narrowly escaping the goats, well….It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time. After you have crushed that, you are clearly the very Model of a modern Sufferlandrian and can finally do a Chamois dance to actually celebrate. If you can still walk.
The Sufferlandria United Team has been joined, and my fundraiser page can be found here: Sufferlandria United: Bran Mac Missile
