Bad Plan - Impromptu Knighthood Attempt

On Saturday morning I had the genius idea that I’d do a knighthood attempt later in the day. I’m in ok shape, but did no real preparation. “How hard could it be?” I thought to myself. Turns out, pretty darn hard. After nine hours, 4 sets of bib shorts, 10 bottles of hydration mix, who knows haw many fig bars and bananas, I managed to get it done. Everything hurts. Here’s the list of workouts and links to the associated Strava activities:

  1. The Best Thing In The World - Wahoo SYSTM: The Best Thing In The World
  2. The Omnium - Wahoo SYSTM: The Omnium
  3. There Is No Try - Wahoo SYSTM: There Is No Try
  4. Who Dares - Wahoo SYSTM: Who Dares
  5. A Very Dark Place - Wahoo SYSTM: A Very Dark Place
  6. Attacker - Wahoo SYSTM: Attacker
  7. Power Station - Wahoo SYSTM: Power Station
  8. The Wretched - Wahoo SYSTM: The Wretched
  9. Do As You’re Told - Wahoo SYSTM: Do As You’re Told
  10. G.O.A.T. - Wahoo SYSTM: G.O.A.T.

Lol! How hard could it be?! Brilliant! Congrats Sir @simon

Gotta love an impromptu quest for Honour, Glory and Victory!

Welcome to the castle. Perhaps a wee lie down is in order for you. It’s very uncomfortable. You’ll LOVE it!

SufferKing Mattress

Edit: The Wretched at #8 :joy: :joy: :joy:


Congratulations Sir @simon!

That’s a bold move, going in without much preparation. Chapeau!


Dont forget to submit your formal application to the ministry of things that must be formally applied for.
You’ll find it near the bottom of this page:


Given you could do that without the usual prep, I assume you will be doing the WhateverTheyCallIt Tour at 125%. That seems only logical for Sir Simon.



Outstanding, well done Sir! :dagger:


I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time - (woulda been a good workout to finish with btw :sweat_smile:)
welcome to The Castle :european_castle:, Sir Simon


Well that’s…just…does the castle even HAVE a back door?


(Congrats, Sir!)


Outstanding display of suffering, seriously impressive lack of prep - love it!

Nice one Sir Simon, welcome to the Castle :european_castle:


I can’t think of a witty retort, so I’ll just thank everyone for their kind words.


This is awesome!!


Well, congrats! :tada:

Have a glass of real pagne :champagne: while resting on you bed of nails.

I’ve wondered if I could get away with an impromptu castle assault, but I rarely have more than 6 hours to myself and only in the middle of the night. I just better stay prepared for that one day I have the chance.

Now about that back door… :thinking:


This is incredible and well done! Welcome to the castle Sir @simon!


I actually did it overnight for the same reason!!


Congratulations! Unfortunately you didn’t declare your intention to ride beforehand, and so I think you probably need to do it again to become a knight (probably I’m joking, but I do believe that is in the old rules)! You also need to raise money for a good cause for something, which is a bit harder to do retroactively.

Regardless - well suffered!


Begging your forgiveness Sir Peter but neither of those two things are strictly true afaik, fundraising has always been a “should” rather than a must, and I can find no record of the need for a declaration of intention in the dark and dusty archives (though I did find your shredded chamois :face_vomiting:) . Personally, if ever someone suggests publicly that they’re thinking about Knighthood, I will often call them out with something akin to: As it is said and as it is written, so it shall be done


Hmmm. I wonder if that’s guidance from the old Knighthood planning committee Facebook? I did a quick search and saw Dame Kisi announcing her and her his husband’s attempt in advance. So perhaps this was more tradition than required.

I do think the fundraising aspect is important - for the nation and for the suffering of others.

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I used the old MTP in 2017 and landed squarely on Knighthood as my Mt. Sufferlandria. The MTP def pushes you to make it known, tell everyone, post notes everywhere etc.

I did formally announce my intent on the FB planning committee page where I sought and received some AMAZING advice. I think you’re right that announcing was strongly recommended there.


Gentlemen and ladies I think all these things are highly recommended, but not absolutely required. It was also required that you post public data, although that isn’t as necessary either now that it’s automagically recorded in the app.

The rules state “You really should, although it’s not necessary, try to raise money for a good cause. It’ll do good for the world, make you even prouder of yourself and rightly earn the praise of your fellow Sufferlandrians.”

Raising money does require advance notice of some sort. But again, not required. And there’s definitely been more than a few other spur-of-the-moment attempts and they’re just as valid as any.

I agree the formal announcing has been more of a tradition than a requirement. Tho I haven’t been around as long as most so maybe it was more of a requirement in the ye old days before the app when data recording and individual honesty and honour was relied upon more heavily. :man_shrugging:

Regardless of all that, many congratulations to our newest knights and Sir Simon.


Maybe young Sir @simon could just make a donation to the Knights of Sufferlandria DPF team, and we can call it good…